Parsha Review Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back everybody to the weekly Parshah review. This Parshah is Parshah Chayei Sara. It is the fifth portion in the book of Genesis and the book of B'Reshish and the fifth portion in the Torah. There are 105 verses, 1,402 words and 5,314 letters. The reason we mention this is, as we've seen we've given examples in almost every single Torah portion there is not a single verse, not a single letter, not a single word that is extra. It's there. It's there for a reason, and if it's a big letter, there's a reason. And if there's a little letter, a small letter, like we have in this week's Parshah the small chaf we'll see what that means by Lif Koso. When Abraham mourns and cries for the passing of Sarah, it has a small chaf, smaller than the rest of the word. There's a reason for it. There are no mitzvahs in this week's Torah portion, not performative and not prohibitions.

00:58
The Parshah begins with Sarah's death. Sarah, abraham's wife, our matriarch. She passes away at 127 years old. Upon hearing about the Achaeda, the angel comes to her and tells her you know what just happened, abraham, your husband slaughtered your son Isaac. And she's like what? No way. And she dies.

01:19
Now, very interestingly, the Torah tells us that she was 100 years old and 20 years old and 7 years old. And of course, the question is why does it need to say that in such a duplicitous way? We just mentioned that there's not an extra word in the Torah. So what is the Torah telling us here that we need to pay attention to? And that is that Rashi explains that when she was 100 years old she was pure like she was 20 years old. We know the Torah tells us that till the age of 20, you don't have an account up in heaven. Till the age of 20, you do something wrong, you get punished here. But after the age of 20, that's when you open up your account in heaven and that's when the punishment, the retribution, can potentially happen in the world to come. And Sarah was so pure of sin, she was so clean and pristine that when she was 100 years old it was like she was 20, without any sin. And when she was 20 years old she was as beautiful as when she was 7 years old. The beauty of a 7 year old child is not only a physical beauty, but also a certain pristinous that comes with a 7 year old who's completely innocent, who is completely removed from all challenge, who is just a happy go lucky. That's the way Sarah was in her beauty at the age of 20.

02:46
There are a lot of very important things and I highly recommend every week take a scan, read through, just read the translation in a stone edition Chomish of Art Scroll or the shot and steen edition of the interlinear Chomish of Art Scroll. Take a brief look through the parasha. You will see so many delightful, eye-opening ideas. It is worthwhile. You're not going to waste your time Now.

03:12
Abraham is very, very sad. He mourns and eulogizes his wife, sarah, and Abraham seeks to bury her in the cave of Machpela, the cave of doubles, in the city of Hebron, the holy city of Hebron. As this is the burial place of Adam and Eve, avraham pays Ephron, the Chetite, an exorbitant sum of 400 silver shekels to purchase the land for burial. The place is where our patriarchs Adam, abraham and the Chetites Abraham, isaac, jacob and Asav's head are buried, including our matriarchs Chava, eve, sarah, rifka and Leia. Rachel is not there. Rachel is buried in Rachel's tomb, which is on the way to Hebron.

04:01
Now there's a couple of interesting things that we need to point out over here. Number one is that Asav's head was buried in the tomb of Machpela. Okay, so we have to understand what is that it's going to be. We're going to learn about it later in a few weeks' total portion, but because I included it here, I think it's important for us to point out what was unique about Asav. Asav and we've mentioned this many times in our Musur podcast about the idea of our mind, our intellect and our heart, which is the source of our actions. Asav, in his mind, our sages tell us, was equivalent and as holy as one of the patriarchs, but his actions were not. He thought great ideas. He contemplated holiness, greatness. We see that he performed the mitzvah of honoring your father and mother in the most magnificent way. We'll see it in the coming Torah portions. But in his actions he wasn't, and therefore his head merited to be in the cave of Machpela, in the cave of doubles, together with our patriarchs and matriarchs, but not the rest of his body, because the way in which he acted didn't live up to the standards of our patriarchs and matriarchs. Now, what happened with his head? How did that happen? That we'll see in the coming portions.

05:24
There was a whole negotiation that went on here with Ephron. First, ephron says oh, please, bury your deceased, just no problem, take the land, it's yours. And then Abraham's like, please, let me pay for it. Abraham didn't want favors. And then Ephron says, oh, in that case, 400 gold coins. It's like. It's like if you're getting a ride from the airport and the guy's like, how much can I pay? And the driver says, oh, it's free, no problem, no, no, please, I want to pay. Okay, no problem, it's like $800. So he knows like what and why did Abraham do it? Because Abraham didn't want anyone to doubt his ownership of the land. He didn't want there to be. You know what? Even the most exorbitant price, I'm willing to pay. And not only that, he did it in front of everybody, everyone. Please come, you're all gonna be witnesses here to what's gonna happen here, so that nobody will later say that Abraham didn't rightfully own this land. You know what? You weren't so honest. The Torah points that out the dishonesty of Ephron. And when you say something, you got to follow through with it, but Abraham still not withstanding it. He doesn't say, hey, what just happened here? Why are you changing your mind? What suddenly happened? It's okay, that's the price. You got it, not negotiating. I don't want you to say that I swindled you, I squeezed it out of you. No, no, no, no, fear market value, even way above market value. You got it.

06:53
The next segment of the parashah and this is a long segment of the parashah, it's 64 verses deals with Isaac getting married. Abraham sends his faithful, trusted servant, eliezer, to Charan, abraham's old city, to find a suitable wife for Yitzchak. Yitzchak, at the time, is 40 years old. Making him swear to choose only from Abraham's family, only. It means you're going to Charan where Abraham grew up. You only take someone who's part of my family, meaning they were Jewish, they were part of the tribe. That doesn't mean that everyone was righteous.

07:31
Eliezer travels with jewelry and gifts for his future wife of Yitzchak, of Isaac. At Aram Naharayim he prays and he says Hashem, please give me a sign that will identify the suitable girl for Isaac. The sign that Hashem tells him is going to be that when you ask a girl for water from the well, she will give you water and she will give water for your camels, and then you will know that this is the right woman for Isaac, someone who's really kind, providentially, Rivka, who was born in the end of last week's parshah, if you remember. She appears. Eliezer asks her for water and Rivka gives him and his 10 camels that's about 140 gallons of water. The camels drink a lot and she invites him to her father's home, besuel's home. This extreme kindness marks her as the right wife for Yitzchak and a suitable mother for the Jewish people. When Eliezer asks for her hand in marriage on behalf of Rivka's great uncle, abraham, rivka says I do yes.

08:45
And then the negotiations begin between Lavon, which is her brother, and Besuel, her father. Besuel tries to poison Eliezer because he sees that he comes with Ten Camels. They're loaded with riches, they're loaded with gold and silver and jewelry and he just wants Eliezer dead so he can steal all of his possessions. And an angel switches their plates, the Midrash tells us, and Besuel dies from his own doing. Riftka leaves with Eliezer and with a blessing.

09:18
Now a very interesting. We notice, if you look at the verse, that only Lavon responds, not Besuel, because Besuel died is the first reason. The second reason is because Lavon didn't have proper respect for his father. A child is never supposed to speak before their father. The father speaks and then the child speaks. This Lavon had such bad meadows, such bad character traits, that he spoke up in front of his father and that's inappropriate. The Torah teaches us that a child has to have special regard for their parent and when the parent is being asked a question by someone, for the child to spring in with their opinion is disrespectful. And this the Torah demonstrates here by mentioning that Besuel approved of the marriage of Riftka to Isaac.

10:10
Now Riftka travels to the land of Canaan with Eliezer. She falls off her camel upon seeing Yitzchak and Yitzchak is praying Mincha. He was praying the afternoon prayer. The Mincha that we have, was instituted by Isaac. Remember last week we talked about Chachris. The morning prayer was instituted by Abraham and later we'll see that Jacob instituted the evening prayer. So morning, afternoon, evening, abraham, isaac and Jacob instituted each of those. Then she marries Yitzchak. Riftka is happy to marry a righteous and kind person such as Yitzchak, and Yitzchak brings Riftka into Sarah's tent, he marries her and he loves her.

10:52
So the Midrash tells us that she was four years old. However, however, we have to understand that years in those days represent the different things that they do than they do now. So four years can also mean that she was a lot older. It's hard to imagine that Isaac married a four-year-old. But what does the Midrash say? Say that probably because of her innocence, probably because of her holiness. There are many reasons we can find that in the Midrash Now, yitzchak is consoled for the loss of his mother when the three great miracles returned.

11:31
What were those three miracles? The Chalah for Shabbos stayed fresh from one week to the next, the Shabbos candles stayed lit the entire week and a heavenly cloud hovered above her tent, a sign that Hashem was present all the time. You're wondering. You're like one second. The Torah wasn't yet given until several hundred years later. This is Abraham. It's only seven generations later. It's Isaac, six generations later, when Moshe receives the Torah at Mount Sinai. So we don't have the commandment for Shabbos yet. We don't have the commandment for Chalah yet we don't have all of these commandments.

12:07
The answer is, we've said previously, our ancestors, prior to receiving the Torah, kept the Torah. We gave an example of that last week when Abraham had guests. We know we can't serve meat and then milk. We can serve milk and then meet. And Abraham. We see, the Torah tells us that Abraham first gave them Chema of a hollow. He gives them butter and milk and then he gives them meat to eat. Because Abraham observed the Torah. Abraham knew the midst of the Torah.

12:39
The obvious question that we asked Previously is if Abraham knew the Torah, why didn't he circumcise himself till he was commanded to do so? If he knew it, he should have observed it. Well, briss, which is a covenant between Hashem and Abraham and the Jewish people, needs to have a partner. You can't make a treaty just with yourself. And therefore Abraham waited till God says here is the treaty I'm going to make between me and you and your descendants. And therefore Abraham only observed the Briss when he was Commanded to do so, where God says this is going to be the sign between me and you, but till till he had a partner in that treaty. There was no sense in him circumcising himself without a partner. And Then the last section of this week's Torah portion is the end of Abraham's life.

13:35
We see that Abraham remarries Hagar, now named Ketura. Now We've mentioned previously that names mean something and His name changed to reflect, to indicate her new and improved ways, she. They had six sons that were born Zimran, yakshan, maidan, midyan, yishbak and Shuach. After giving them gifts, abraham sends them to the east for their idolatry. Abraham didn't want any of their idolatry to be around him. And then Abraham instructs that only Isaac will be his ear only. Isaac will be inheriting Abraham's possessions. And then Abraham passes at the age of 175 and Is buried by Yitzchak and Yishmal next to Sarah, so both his older children, yitzchak and Yishmal. Why does the Torah tell us that? To indicate that Yishmal Repented. And when Abraham died, abraham was happy that Yishmal had come back to his senses. He went away from his wicked ways and Merited to bury Abraham together with Isaac.

14:50
Now a few important lessons that I want to point out. Number one is that it says in the Talmud. It says in the Talmud that someone who doesn't have children is considered that they're not living, they don't have life because they have no continuation. Sarah was how old when she had a baby? She was 90 years old. How old was she when she passed away? 127 years old. That means she lived really 37 years, from 90 to 127. If you look at the first word of this week's parasha, it's by ye he you, chai Esorah, and it was and it was the life of Sarah, that word by you, and it was totaling in the number 37. But you want to know how long she lived? By ye, you. Also. It's a palindrom that goes both ways to tell us that, through and through, she was Enriched and her life was full. But if you want to know, schnechai Esorah, how many years she existed on this earth, that the the end of the verse tells us it was 127 years, but really the amount of time that she lived Meaning having a child that was 37 years.

16:12
Another very important piece here is that Abraham insures. We mentioned this previously. He insured Cleanliness of money. There shouldn't be any doubts. It's a very important thing for a person to be extra careful. You do a business deal. Make sure the money is clean. You have a partnership with someone. Make sure the money is clean. Yeah, you know what. He won't notice. If I get an extra 2%, he won't notice of it. You know what? Money that is not clean won't bring blessing. Abraham only wanted blessing and Therefore he insured that everything that he possessed was 100% Clean, squeaky clean, pristine money that he earned and deserved, and not one penny should be. You know? Well, it was a misunderstanding, but who knows who? You know nobody. Nobody noticed. It's fine. It's very important. It's one of the important lessons that we learned from Avramavina.

17:15
Another thing is that it says that after Abraham purchased the land, it says via come, stay a throne and Avram elevated. It says that the land was elevated. How does that happen? Because our sages tell us that you influence your environment and If you're holy, the things around you become holy. A simple example your car. Is it holy? Well, it's a car. It takes me from place to place, but if you're holy, it becomes holy as well. Why? Because you're now going to use it for kind deeds. You're going to use it to deliver packages for meals on wheels. You're going to use it to take someone to the hospital, pick someone up the hospital, give someone a ride. You're going to do kind deeds. What you're doing is now this becomes a vessel which isn't just a physical for wheels. It now is elevated. It becomes something which is a holy Entity. You're taking your car and you're driving to a Torah class. It becomes a vessel of holiness. Now You're elevating the things that are around you by you being holy.

18:25
Okay, now very, very, very important lesson about marriage. This Torah portion is known as as the Torah portion for teaching us the proper way of marriage. So the first thing is that we see that when Lavan approves Rifka marrying Isaac, he says may Hashem Yatsahadavah. It has been predestined by the Almighty and therefore we can't fight with God. Rifka can go and she can marry Isaac. Or say just teach us, this is the Talmud. The Talmud says that 40 days before a child is born, a heavenly voice declares this Child, for this child, this man, to this woman, they're predestined. There's a heavenly voice that declares why? Because our say just teach us that when a couple get together, it's the reunification of a soul. There are two halves of a soul that are split, taken. This one gets into his, into his body, this one gets it to her body, and when they come together, this is the unification of a soul that was once together. It's all predestined. And guess what? It's a declaration. It says Scott Nava, boom, you guys are one soul and the the marriage is the reunification. So marriage is Predestined. We have to remember that and know that and therefore it's important for one to realize that it's worthwhile working on a marriage, because this is the marriage God thought was the right match. God thought this was the right match and therefore work on it and bring it to its full potential.

20:08
Another thing is that what do you look for? What do you look for in a mate? You look for good me dose. You look for good character traits, because character traits are the one vehicle that will continue For ever. Money comes and goes. Good me dose Stay forever. So it's worthwhile investing in that which is truly important. And we see that.

20:37
What does Abraham say to Eleazar? He says I want a girl for my son who has good me dose. How do we see that? We see that it's only someone who has remarkable, impeccable Character that will not only offer a Person to drink, but all of his camels. You know what. You know what act of kindness that is. I'm talking here Estimated hundred and forty gallons of water. That's a lot of water to get out of a well. But you know what, when you're doing for someone else, that's the greatest demonstration of care, of concern, of love for another human being. That Virtue, that qualities what Abraham said to Eleazar. That's what I want you to find in a wife. Now it's very interesting that it says that Isaac Marries her and then it says he loves her. What's going on here? Don't you fall in love and then get married or say just tell us, no, you can't love someone that you don't give to.

21:48
Marriage is built on giving, on giving, on giving. The more you give, the more you will love. And what we see here is that it's almost a race for who can give first, because Isaac sends Camel loads of jewelry. For what to start the giving? All of marriage is about becoming a giver, a godlike entity. God is a constant giver.

22:17
Did anyone here get a bill for the oxygen that you breathed this morning? No, we got it for free. Why? Because God is a giver. Did anybody here get a bill for their legs? Anybody get a bill for the legs? No, you just walked. You just got up in the morning and you were able to walk. You know that you have to pay 50 cents to look at those binoculars, to look at New York City or to look at a distra Did anyone here pay for their eyes, for the vision? No, why? Because a Shem is a giver.

22:50
Marriage is a microcosm of our desire to be Godlike and we're a giver and giver and giver, and non-stop, because the more you give, the more you love. If you ask parents who have children who are special needs or a child who are special needs, you ask them which child do you love the most? Every time they'll tell you the one with the special needs. You know why? Because they give the most to that child. The more you give to someone, the more you love that someone. It doesn't mean that they love the other children less, but there's a special relationship with someone that you give to that much. The more you give, the more you love, and that's what we see here with Isaac. We see this with Rebecca. We see that their relationship was built on giving. It's not about what I get, it's about what I can give.

23:44
Another thing that's very important for us to notice in this week's parasha is that Rivka, although she grew up in a compromised household of Bessuel and Lavon, who were no good nicks, she maintained her holiness. She maintained her purity and did not get influenced by their bad ways. And this is something that we talked about many, many times, about the importance of preserving a holy environment. Make sure that your environment is one that is wholesome. Make sure that your environment, because we are influenced by our environment. It's a unique specialty that Rivka did not, and that's why it's pointed out that she maintained her holiness. She maintained her beauty, her inner beauty, even though there was corruption all around her.

24:37
We learn about burial of the dead, eulogizing and funeral practices from Abraham. Abraham teaches us the love the passion, the incredible relationship that he had with Sarah, that he was so sad. But we mentioned previously that there's a small cuff a small cuff when it talks about Lifkosa that he cried for Sarah Because our sages are telling us and this is the the hint in the Torah. Why is it small? That externally he only showed a little bit of his morning. The majority of it was done in private. He didn't need everybody to see his morning. He didn't need everybody to see how sad he was. He showed only a little bit externally and the rest was internally.

25:27
There's something to having an internal life. Not everything needs to be on Instagram. Not everything needs to be on Facebook. Not everything needs to be out there. Oh, you want to see what I ate today? Just look at my Facebook, you'll see everything. You want to see who, what, we, or when, how? Everything's on TikTok? No, that's not necessary for everything to be external. We have to have an internal world, an internal existence that isn't dependent on everyone liking and everyone you know scrolling through our activities every single day.

25:59
Another very important final note on this week's parasha is that Eliyazard says that he arrived at his destination to find Rivka that day. Now it was a 17-day travel from where he was with Abraham to get to Charan. It was very far. How did it take him? Our sages tell us three hours. Our sages tell us that Yeshua Hashem keherif'ayin, the redemption, will come, also in such a speedy fashion that it's inconceivable. How did that happen so quickly?

26:39
We many times expect things to happen on our timeline. It doesn't happen on our timeline, it happens on God's timeline. God works on a different clock than we do and if God decides that now is the time, it's instantaneous that things happen. It's one of the things we talk about in our Tuesday night class about Bittachon having trust in Hashem. We expect things to work on our calendar, on our schedule, but that's not the way it works. It works on God's schedule, on God's calendar, and when God decides that it's the right time for something to happen, boom. That's exactly when it will happen. So my blessing to all of us is that we take the lessons from this week's parasha and we internalize them. We make them part of our consciousness, we make them part of our daily living and hopefully internalize these messages so that there's something that we can give over as an inheritance to our children. It's something that we can give over to future generations to have the same relationship with Hashem, if not stronger and more alive than ever before. Shabbat shalom.