Parsha Review Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

00:10 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody. Welcome back to the Parsha Review Podcast. I have some debt to pay back for Parsha's Bamidbar, which is the first portion in the book of Numbers. Why is it called Numbers? Because we keep on seeing that the almighty wants us to count the jewish people. Now just a disclaimer. We mentioned this previously.

00:29
You're not allowed to count the jewish people, not allowed to count the jewish people. It is forbidden. You're not allowed to count one, two, three, four, five. You have to count it with. You can count it many different ways. You can count it as a verse, you can count it. I remember growing up, we used grow up, they used to say not one, not two, not three, not four. You know, like right, so you're not supposed to count the Jewish people. So how did they count the Jewish people? They counted them. Everyone gave a half shekel, which is a small currency, a small, you know denomination, and everybody imagine everyone gives a and they count the nickels. You don't count the people, you count the money. That's fine.

01:08
So in the beginning of Parshas, in the beginning of the book of Numbers, we have the following verse and Hashem spoke to Moshe in the wilderness of Sinai, in the meeting, in the tent of meeting on the first of the second month, on the second year after their exodus from the land of Egypt, saying as follows verse number two, verse number two household of their fathers, misparshemos by the number of the names, every male, according to their headcount. So if you look at this verse, there's something very interesting that we see here. Why don't we just say just count all of the people, just count them? Or obviously we're not counting them by number, we're counting them by coins, fine, but it says something very interesting. It says count them all, and then it says according to the household of their fathers. What's going on over here? So it's very important for us to know something very, very fundamental that we can also learn from the Ten Commandments, and that is what's the fifth of the Ten Commandments Honor your father and mother.

02:56
One of the fundamental principles in Judaism is our ancestry. It's not a nice luxury, it's an essential part of our Judaism. An essential part of who we are is making sure we link up our lives with our ancestors, that we make sure that we remember the ways of our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents. You think about this. We are just a link in a chain and, god willing, we all have children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They're connected to that chain that we connect them with our previous generation. So if we don't realize that we have a chain that we're linked to and that we need to continue that chain further to the next generations, it's a big responsibility. It's a big responsibility and we are accountable. You know, there's a very important thing that we see throughout the teachings of our sages Ma'aseh, avot, siman, libanim. We look at the stories of our ancestors and that's a sign for us Meaning.

04:14
If you want to know how things will play out with you, look at your ancestors. Look how it played out for them. Look how it played out for Abraham, isaac and Jacob. Look how it played out for our matriarchs Sarah, rebecca, isaac and Jacob. Look how it played out for our matriarchs Sarah, rebecca, rachel and Leah. Look how it played out for Joseph in Egypt. Look how it played out for the tribes. Look how it played out for Moshe and Aaron and all of. Look at our Torah. Look at the story and you'll see exactly how it's going to play out for you. And if you look throughout history, you'll see that it's exactly the same thread, the same thread.

04:50
Look at who God focuses in on in the Torah. Who does Hashem focus on? Hashem focuses on those who are the righteous people, because that's who Hashem loves. Hashem loves the righteous. You see that when Hashem talks about Ishmael, or Hashem talks about Esav, or Hashem talks about the generation of the flood, it's almost like an afterthought. It's almost like Hashem said, oh, and, by the way, at the end of this portion, and these were the children of Esav, these were the children of Ishmael and goodbye.

05:22
You don't see a lot of detail. Why? Because they went against the will of Hashem, those who followed the will of Hashem. Hashem expands, talks about them in great length. Look at Moshe. Every single detail, every single mistake. We hope that our mistakes never get posted on Twitter like Moshe's mistake was posted in the Torah, the best-selling book in the history of the world. Moshe hits the rock instead of speaking to the rock. It could be private. No, no, no.

05:53
When you're the leader of the Jewish people, you have a big responsibility. The future generations, your descendants, will be impacted by that. It's not a small story. It's not a small story, it's a big story. I think today, in our generation, it's even more important for us to remember the responsibility that we have to link up to our previous generations, to look up, think for a second. If your parents are alive, talk to them and ask them about their values, about what brought that generation which was a great generation, far greater than our generation, I'd argue what were the principles that drove them, that guided them, and if they can recall from their parents and their grandparents to figure out what were the values that they had, that drove such commitment, such passion.

06:55
And sadly, we're living in a generation that we see a lot of craziness in the world. We see a lot of really, really, I mean things that, if you think about it rationally, there isn't going to be. If people have their way, if certain people have their way, if certain movements have their way, there isn't going to be a next generation because people are not getting married or people are not marrying in a way that they can have children, and it's really, it's problematic. It's a real big problem because we're in an arrogant age of we've got this figured out ourselves. We don't need to understand from our parents. We don't need to understand from our parents. We don't need to look at our ancestors. We don't need to try to figure out the best way to live life. We've got it. We know what to do and it's showing to be tragic. It's showing to be tragic.

08:03
We have something so valuable in Judaism where the Torah says don't just count the individuals from their father's homes, meaning you have to link the children with their parents. Children, when we educate our children, you know. It says, very interestingly, if you look at the next verse, the next verse says and those who are from the age 20 to the age of 60, or say, just tell us what's the age of 20 to 60? Well, usually if someone gets married at the age of 18, like the Mishnah says, you should get married when you're 18. So then what happens? You start having children about by the age of 20. So you start becoming a parent and guiding your children at the age of 20. Till what age? Usually, when they get married off, is it about 60 years old. When you're 60 years old, so that means that's when you end the parenting age is between 20 and 60. That means that you have a responsibility during those and it's called Litzvot Sava. Now you're in war. You're in the war zone that's raising children.

09:10
Raising children on the path of our ancestors, raising children in a path that is a proven path, a path which, by the way, I think that one of the things, one of the tragedies of our generation, is that there's no more common sense. Common sense has become very uncommon. It's become a crazy world and we're reliant a lot on technology. We're reliant a lot on AI. We're reliant a lot on social media. We're reliant a lot on social media. Most people, the majority of the world today, gets their news from social media, which is probably better than networks anyway, but still we're reliant on so much technology for our day-to-day lives. It's crazy, it really is.

10:04
What we need to do is we need to start thinking. What would my parents have thought? What would my parents have guided? How would they have raised children in this generation? I mean, you think about that. It's like any of our parents would put up with the nonsense of what's going on in these parades and going on with these school programs with you. Just think of what's going, it's craziness. And we say, no, that's okay, we have to be tolerant. Would our parents tolerate that? I don't think so. Our grandmothers definitely would not. They would take off their sandal and throw it at us. Right, are you crazy? Are you Meshuggah?

10:53
So we've, in a way, departed from the, from common sense, we've departed from the wisdom of our ancestors, and I think that it's having a very, very negative effect. But we can change it right here in our class. We can change it in sharing this idea with our children, with our grandchildren, with our grandchildren, with our grandchildren understanding and putting embedding within them this responsibility. Honoring your father and mother as a commandment of one of the 10 commandments wasn't just placed there randomly oh, let's pick one, we're going to throw it in there. No, the idea is that if you don't have the honor of your father and mother in the Ten Commandments, so then thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not covet. All of those other commandments are going to seem to be regular things that we should do because we don't have the common sense, we don't have the guidance of our parents, meaning putting our parents as a necessary path for our growth, a necessary path for our understanding of how the future needs to look.

12:19
Technology, don't get me wrong. Technology is a great thing and many people who are watching this video right now online, we're utilizing technology. There's nothing wrong with technology. But when technology takes over our lives, when technology is now, you know, where children don't spend time with friends anymore in person because they're in front of a screen With children. It's like it really is a crazy thing. You know, I'm very gifted, because Shabbos makes you turn off everything. Turn off your computer, you turn off your phone, you turn off everything, everything, your computer, you turn off your phone, you turn off everything everything is off.

13:03
That's it. Now you just have time where you have to be face to face, in three dimension, with your family, with your friends, with your neighbors, with your community, with your community with your synagogue, and just interact without interruption, without distraction, and that's something that will hopefully never change. You know the New York Times at the beginning of this millennium year, 2000, y2k they had a special feature edition of the New York Times. They had a special feature edition of the New York Times and it was what the New York Times front cover is going to look like in 100 years, in 2100. They did a prediction and they had some outrageous stuff with, you know, people out in outer space and whatever, all that stuff. But they had on the bottom of the page candle lighting time for Shabbat will be at this and this time and Shabbos will come out at this and this time. And people were wondering what's going on? What are you putting over there? They said because one thing is for sure the Jewish people on Friday night will be lighting Shabbos candles and at Saturday night they'll be lighting the Havdalah candle and taking out the Shabbos. That's a guarantee. But that's a guarantee. That's a guarantee only if we preserve that and we give that over to our children. But if we don't give it over and it's a very different way of educating today, it's not the way of educating of our over to our children. But if we don't give it over and it's a very different way of educating today, it's not the way of educating of our parents and our grandparents. Today we need to educate with love.

14:47
You know, I had a father came over to me to talk about education for his daughter. He has a teenage daughter and he said you know, in the religious community it's very uncommon, very uncommon. Hopefully it will become completely something which doesn't ever happen but it's uncommon for a girl who's in high school to have a smartphone with all of the apps, with all of the TikTok and all of that nonsense. So he said to me you know my daughter, I'm having a little bit of an issue. She's a teenager, a little bit of an issue. She's a teenager, a little bit rebellious maybe, and she has her, her, you know her her outlets, which are all of these social media stuff. How do I, how do I get her back in? How do I? How do I, how do I get her to be part of you know what my tradition wants from her. So I asked them. I said tell me, do you tell your daughter how much you love her? Do you tell your daughter how beautiful she is? Do you tell her how special she is? Do you share with her that she says? Well, I'll be honest with you, I really have a hard time expressing myself in that way. I said look, I understand that you have two choices. Either you give her that admiration and that love, or the people on TikTok will. If you don't give her the heart, they will. Yours is authentic, theirs is fake, but she needs it. And if she's not going to get it from you the right way, she's going to get it from them the wrong way. This is your choice as a father and in our generation.

16:29
You know, I spoke to my grandfather about education and my grandfather talked a lot about education. You read any book today about education. You see my grandfather's name is quoted there as a source of how you educate in this generation. He told me he says once upon a time you can educate your child with firmness. Once upon a time, parents educated with a stick. Today, you can only educate with love.

16:58
The only tool we have to educate today is love. By the way, the church didn't come up with this Right, all that love and peace. They murdered more Jews than anybody in the history of the world. So don't tell me about love. It comes from our Torah. Our Torah talks about love, particularly in education.

17:19
We can only educate our children when we display love to them. You know the very beautiful idea we learned from the laws of Hanukkah. Hanukkah tells you how to light the candles of the menorah. So we all know you put one fire next to the other fire, it lights up. So the halacha says if it's not lighting up, don't bother the light, just place it next to it, gently, and it'll light up on its own. Put the fire next to it, it'll light up on its own. Sages tell us that is education. If your child is not following your way, don't bother him, just get close to him. It'll light up on its own.

18:08
Every child is different. Every child is unique. Every child has their own path and their own time where they go ablaze, where their passion turns on for meaning. Every child has their own path For connection. We can't force our children. Try to force your child at four years old, six years old, ten years old, fifteen years old, to come to shul, to come to daven to pray next to you. That's the one-way ticket for them to never show up again. I had so many people here in this classroom tell me I couldn't wait for my bar mitzvah because I knew that that was the last time I'd ever need to go to synagogue again. We can't educate children like that. We can't force anything. In a world where there's total freedom, we're going to force our children to be Jewish. How's that going to work? When children see the love we have for our Yiddishkeit, for our Judaism, when children see the love we have for our Yiddishkeit, for our Judaism, when children see the love we have for our connection with God, when children see the love that we have for performing mitzvahs, when children see the love that we have for prayer, for talking and having a communication with God, when they see that they come close to it, you can't, you can't.

19:27
You can't influence someone to love something if you don't love it. If you're not passionate about the car you're trying to sell, you're never going to be able to sell it. It's like you go to a restaurant. You have no idea. You look at this menu. You're all confused. There's so many items, so what do you do? Most people do. They turn to the waiter or the waitress and they say what do you recommend? So if the waitress tells you here, why don't you get that soup? I don't like it, you're not going to take it. You'll take the thing that they say oh, I really like this item. Right, that's the way it works. When someone loves something, they're able to sell it. Right, that's the way it works. When someone loves something, they're able to sell it. When someone doesn't love something, they can't sell it. They say listen, I tried this item on the menu. I don't like it, but you should try it. That's not going to work. I don't like my Judaism, but you should try it. That's not going to work.

20:29
But when we have a love for it, and if we don't have a love for it, it's on us to learn more about it. And perhaps it wasn't packaged well when we were children. Perhaps it wasn't packaged. We still have our own responsibility between us and the Almighty in ensuring that we have a relationship with Him. But if our children don't see the love, they don't see the passion, how do we expect them to connect to it? That's our job. We can't force our kids, you can't force your kid to have a bar mitzvah and you have to lay, and you have to do this and you better, or else, and we can say you know what, I'll take you to Disneyland, that'll be the reward. That's all cutesy. That's not going to get them to want to passionately be involved in their relationship with God. When they see us invest, they see that it's important to us that we read the weekly Torah portion.

21:24
I remember something I want to share with you, something I remember when, today, I want to share with you something I remember when, today we have we have a ready, it's printed three volumes of my grandfather's discourses on the Parsha. So we have three volumes on Genesis, exodus and Leviticus they're working on numbers and Deuteronomy. Unbelievable, it's like it's mind blowing. It's unbelievable the wisdom that, the wisdom that's shared in it. You also have in the art scroll you have the Rav Wolbein, chumash, two volumes, magnificent.

21:58
But I remember when we just had, when someone just put together on their own, someone typed out my grandfather's notes. It wasn't done professionally, but I remember my father was sitting after the meal on Friday night with those notes and learning them Again, my father learning his father's teachings and the excitement that my father had is like this is amazing, this is brilliant, this is. I remember that joy and that love was like cemented into my heart. My father was excited about this. It motivated, it was energizing. That has a lot more impact than forcing your child to do anything. Sit down and learn five minutes before you go play with your. No, that's not gonna. You can't force your kids. Ramosha Feinstein, who I love saying stories about, ramosha Feinstein Ramosha Feinstein would learn with his children.

22:57
Ramosha Feinstein would learn all day, all night. He was, you know, nonstop. When the kids in the bungalow colony were playing a game, he would send his children, who today are leading rabbis of this generation. He would send them go play with the other kids. He doesn't want his kid to miss out. They're playing baseball. Go play with the kids. You understood.

23:18
The kid needs to have a good time. Right, I know you want to learn with me. I know I'm your father and we should be learning, but there has to be a balance. Has to be a balance. So go have a good time. When they came back, they sat and learned with their father. There has to be a balance in that. But that's a guidance.

23:38
You don't force your child to do this. They see your love, they see your passion, they see your excitement and that we're able to. That's how we give over any of our Judaism. And if we don't have passion, that's what we need to work on. Take a mitzvah, any mitzvah, a single mitzvah, and when you have a passion for that mitzvah, it'll go into your children's veins, it'll go into their DNA and, by the way, even if they're older and they think that you're crazy, that you're going to Torah classes, when they see that you have a passion for something. It could take a decade, it could take two decades, but eventually it'll click and it'll have a major impact on them.

24:27
Imagine a parent says listen, I learned a little bit about the laws of Lashon Hara not speaking slanderously, not speaking negatively about other people. That has an impact when a child starts talking and the parent says do me a favor, please. If it's about somebody else, if it's negative, I don't want to hear it Right, and if you're real about it, eventually the it, eventually the child. Okay. So my mother is a stickler. She doesn't want to hear L'shon Hara. I'm going to go say it to somebody else. It doesn't have the same excitement, it's not as juicy anymore, because that's why the Chafetz Chaim tells us that the person who accepts and listens to the Lonara is worse than the person who speaks it, because by listening, you're encouraging them to continue. If you said no, no, no, no, I'm not interested in hearing, don't tell me anything negative about another person, then they'll think twice before they say that to somebody else because they feel you know, yeah, I really shouldn't be talking negatively.

25:30
We all have a moral compass that hopefully isn't warped by our generation. My dear friends, we have to look up at our parents, we have to look up at our grandparents and hopefully, if they're alive, we utilize the opportunity to talk to them, to learn, to gain wisdom, to gain understanding about what the values of this world should be like. Hashem should bless us all. We should always merit. We should always merit to have that proper passion and, by the way, this is something we can pray for. It's something we should pray for. Hashem, I want to connect with this mitzvah. I don't feel a connection. Help me, help me be inspired, help me grow, help me connect Something which is very, very powerful. Hashem listens and Hashem responds in amazing ways. My dear friends, it's just Sunday. Have an amazing Shabbos.

26:30 - Intro (Announcement)
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