Parsha Review Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:03 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

00:13 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody, welcome back to the Parsha Review Podcast. This week's Parsha is Parsha Shoftim. It is amazing that we have Shabbos tonight, a time to take a break from this crazy world that we're living in and to just be and to just take a break. And then tomorrow, in synagogue, we read this holy portion, and it's Shoftim v'shotrim, titin l'cha, b'chol sha'arecha, judges and officers you shall appoint for you in all of your gates, asher, hashem alake, god gives to you for your tribes, and they shall judge the people with judgment. That is just so. We see a lot about justice here, a lot about being fear and honest. And then we are also going to see something really incredible is the Torah continues to talk about bribery. And don't bribe, because it will blind the eyes of the wise. So even someone who is really clever, really wise, they will also fall to it. They will also fail in the game of bribery. Bribery works, which is why it's used V'Yisalif dev'rit tzedikim, and it will corrupt the words of the just. Tzedek, tzedek, tirdov, justice, justice shall you pursue. So, as soon as we're done with this, it says you shall not plant for yourself a tree for idol worship, any tree next to the altar of Hashem, your God, that you shall make for yourself. So our sages ask what's really going on here, that the Torah is saying don't make for yourself a tree for idol worship. And then the next verse it says and you shall not erect for yourself a monument which Hashem alokecha, which Hashem, your God, hates. What is the commandment here? What is really going, what's underlying here? So our sages tell us there is nothing that the Almighty dislikes more than an arrogant person, nothing that the Almighty dislikes more than an arrogant person, nothing that the Almighty dislikes more than an arrogant person, a person who's arrogant, a person who is haughty, someone who thinks high of themselves. They think of themselves better, bigger, more successful than another person, not realizing that they're just a pawn in God's world. They make themselves, they inflate themselves to something that they're not. There's nothing that God dislikes more than that. Nothing. Do not. Do not plant for yourself a tree of worship. Don't start worshiping yourself.

03:26
You know, one of the commands that we see here is that a king always had to walk around with a Torah scroll, not a chumash, not a pocket chumash. He had to actually carry a Torah scroll, why, and he had to read from it constantly, to humble himself, to remember that you're not yes, you're a king, but you're a pawn in God's world. Don't think that because you're a king, you have more rights than anybody else. You're more obligated than anybody else, which is a very, very important reminder for every Jewish person. We talk about the Jewish people being the chosen people. It's true, we are the chosen people. Does that give us a right to be arrogant? No, on the contrary, it humbles us because that means that we're more obligated. That means that God says I'm expecting more from you. I'm expecting for you to do more because you're the chosen people. That means the example of a Jewish person needs to be one who's honest in business. That when someone does business with a Jew, it shouldn't be like uh-oh, watch your back, he's going to made off you, right? No, it should be that I trust him because I know he's God's chosen people. He'll never take advantage of me, he'll be honest.

04:55
I'll tell you an amazing, a fascinating story that I think I may have shared it in one of the classes, but I read the story from a dear friend of mine I met over the summer. He drives Rabbi Reuven Feinstein. He drives him once a week and over the years that he's been driving Rabbi Reuven Feinstein. He's accumulated this much of printout of stories that he's heard from Rabbi Re reuben feinstein, who's rabbi reuben feinstein. He's one of the two sons of rabbi moshe feinstein and I've said numerous stories over the years from rabbi moshe feinstein.

05:35
I'll share with you a couple more, but one that when he left israel, when he left russia, when he left r Russia, so he was put into the he was. He was asked three times to come into the Russian army and all three times he said he had miracles, that he was able to avoid the army. One of them was that he was able to come up with some documents. Somehow the, the russian uh government, gave him a document that showed that he was 14 years older than he really was and so now he was a senior. One time it was because he was a rabbi, so he was a rabbi of a con, you know. So he already had a community and then they didn't take him for religious purposes, but but he had this document that showed that he was 14 years older than he was. When he came to the United States, you know, he brought his Russian documents with him and he said there was a mistake on his date of birth. That's not correct. It's 14 years older. But they didn't care. They said this is the document, this is the document. This is the document.

06:50
When he was 51 years old, when a promotional financing was 51 years old, he received a check from the IRS for Social Security and he sends it back. And they send it back to him. So he writes them a note saying listen, there's a mistake in your records and I'm 51 years old, I'm not 65 years old. And the next month he gets another check and he sends it back again. And this continued to go for 14 years. Because he did not want to accept money that didn't come to him. Because this is what a chosen nation does, because we are honest and the Torah commands us to not touch money that's not coming to us. And therefore, at the age of 65, when he received his first Social Security check, that was the first Social Security check he deposited, because it was the first one that was coming to him Right. Because it was the first one that was coming to him Right.

07:45
That's a level of you know, understanding. This is our obligation. Now, I'm sure he's not the only person in the world who would do such a thing. I'm sure there are many here in this room who would also do that. But I know many, many people who would say, hey, it's free money. Why not Sending you money? It's not your problem money, why not sending you money? It's not your problem. But that's a person who understands. This is my responsibility. My responsibility is to be at a higher level. My responsibility is not to just say, hey, they made the mistake, it's their problem. It's to say no, what does the almighty want me to do?

08:22
I want to share with you one other story. This is a fascinating, fascinating story, and I heard two different stories that are identical One about Reb Moshe Feinstein, but one about another special person, unbelievable. There's a big age difference between Reb David Feinstein, who had passed away recently, and Reb Reuben Feinstein, who's his younger brother. There's an age gap and he says you know why I'm so much younger? Because I think it was seven or eight years difference between the two brothers, and the Feinsteins had no children in between those two brothers. He says I'll tell you why Because where they lived at that point in Russia there was no mikveh, there was no mikvah. There was no mikvah For eight years. His mother could not go to the mikvah. So because she couldn't go to the mikvah, she couldn't be with her husband For eight years. For eight years, he says. That's why I'm eight years younger than my brother. Unbelievable, it's an unbelievable thing. I heard an amazing story this week which is an identical story. This is not long ago.

09:42
A elderly Russian man living in Israel passed away and his wife comes to the hebraic hadisha where they do the uh, the ritual purification of the body, and then, you know, with unbelievable dignity, and then they have a funeral and it's a, it's like a, it's a, it's un, it's unfortunate, but it's like people pass away, and it's you, haveroom one, ballroom two, ballroom three. They announce ballroom two and the Hever Kaddish is there. It's about three or four people and they just see the widow and they say to the widow is there anybody else? She's like we didn't have any children, so there's nobody else. They bring a few more people in and said like this there's a minion. There should be a quorum of 10 adults to be present for the uh, for the funeral.

10:34
So the woman says can someone give the eulogy? She says none of us really know who he was like. She says okay, so then I'll give the eulogy, I'll give the eulogy, I'll give the eulogy. So she says to her husband. She says you know why there's nobody here to give you a eulogy? You know why you have no children? Because we lived in a place in Russia. There was no mikveh. And for all of the years we were married, at the age that we were able to have children, I was never able to go to the mikvah. And we, together, made a decision that we are not going to violate the Torah's command and we're not going to be together until I go to the mikvah. And this was a decision. And she says and therefore, and she says, and therefore, the name of the Almighty should be forever great in all of the worlds. And the entire group of people with tears in their eyes, they all recited Kaddish.

11:42
For this individual, for this man, it's a level of commitment, a level of dedication. It's like it's unfathomable for us. We, you know, if our Starbucks coffee isn't made at the right temperature, at the right exactly when we come to the window, it's not ready. We're like what's going on with these people? What's you know what's wrong with this place? You know, it's like we're so impatient, so impatient. And here. People were ready to give up on their youth, on their young years of passion, of love, because the Torah says that I can't. There was no way for them to. You know, it's unfathomable the challenge that people were ready to devote and commit themselves to the service of Hashem.

12:33
So let's go back to the beginning of the parasha, where it says that you shall have judges and you shall have officers. Make for yourself a point for you, all of your gates. So we know, if you look at the rest of the verse, it's referring to the Jewish people, to our communities, to all of our tribes, to all of our dealings, to the entire nation. We should have police officers, that we should have judges, that we should have rule of law. But perhaps, if we look at the verse, we can also see you should make for yourself in all of your dealings. Why all of your dealings?

13:21
I'll tell you an amazing story. There's a friend of mine here in Houston, texas. I'll share his name because I think it's really special. I think it's really an unbelievable thing. Some of you might know a dear friend of mine, dan Coleman, and Dan is a God-fearing Jew and in the process of of his, his family's, conversion. So he met with a rabbi, a local rabbi in the community, and he was talking with the rabbi and the rabbi was sort of like interrogating him. And he came to me that night and he was really disappointed. He was really disappointed.

14:03
He's like why is the rabbi interrogating me like I'm some criminal? Why is he interrogating, asking me these questions and putting me on the spot and making me so uncomfortable? What's going on Like? What's his problem? Why is he treating me like this? The next morning I told him I'll speak to the rabbi and I'll tell the rabbi to let off a little bit and take it easy.

14:25
The next morning he called me back. He says I hope you didn't speak to the rabbi yet. I said no, I didn't get a chance to. Yet he says don't call him. He says actually, at second thought, I really appreciate that. I really appreciate that he interrogated me like that. I'm like what's going on? He said well, let me tell you.

14:43
I just realized that what is he? He's a rabbi. He's a rabbi of flesh and blood. He's somebody here in this world who's interrogating me and asking me questions, making me feel uncomfortable. Can you imagine the interrogation I'm going to have when I come in front of the heavenly tribunal, when I come in front of the heavenly courts, when they ask me did I maximize my time? Did I do everything I could do for my fellow man? He says this is just a preparation. He says I want to meet with him every month because I want him to prepare me for the real judgment. I want him to prepare me for the real challenge when I'll be standing in front of the heavenly courts. Standing in front of the heavenly courts.

15:26
And the truth is to have that level of recognition of self-awareness, to realize, yeah, we're living this world, but you know what this world is? A preparation for the world to come. This world is only a process, a vessel through which we get to the next world. So if we're able to prepare ourselves here, that's a freebie, it's a great gift that we have.

15:57
When someone challenges us, we shouldn't get upset at them. When someone challenges us, we should say thank you, thank you for getting me closer to my purpose, thank you for getting me closer to my purpose, thank you for getting me closer to recognizing myself. That's why it says that if you go, if you criticize a wise person, they're going to love you for it. Are they going to love me for criticizing them. Yes, because you gave them a perspective about themselves that they otherwise were lacking. You gave them an opportunity to see something in themselves that they otherwise weren't seeing. There's such an incredible gift that we can benefit when we realize, when we put judges and officers in front of our own gates, in our own lives. Have a coach, have a mentor, have someone who challenges you.

16:54
We like to find people who think the way we think politically. We like to have people in our company who have the same frame of mind. We like to have advisors, have friends that we hang out with, that we can think, who can have common ideas, common thoughts. The Torah says maybe find someone who is going to challenge your thought, to sharpen your skills, to make sure that the way you're looking at things is not subjective but objective, not your perspective. I see things my way and I only want to see it my way. You know, if you ever wonder, a president, a king, needs to have advisors. Why do they need to have advisors? Because if I only think my way, it could be tragic. I need to have an advisor who tells me what my opponents are thinking. I have to have an advisor who tells me what critics are thinking I need to have so I can get a full picture. Because when you're a king or a president, you're not only taking care of the people who voted for you, you're taking care of an entire country. You have to have people who will give you. You're taking care of an entire country. You have to have people who will give you opposing perspectives.

18:11
Shoftim v'shotrim, I have to set up officers, I have to set up judges who are not the way I think, so that I can enhance, I can improve, so that I can become better, and it not only be my way, so that I can become better and it not only be my way, so that I can open up an entire new perspective. So I don't only have my vision, what I can see, but I can have the rest of the 360, the whole full spectrum of vision. We only see we said this so many times we only see about 150 degrees. What's about the other 210 degrees that I don't see? But the people sitting to my right, to my left, they do see it. They can share that perspective.

18:59
And to not fall into our own trap, not to fall into our own thoughts in our own mind that, like I've got it all figured out, I know what I need to do. Maybe you don't see it properly, maybe you're a little bit biased to your own opinions, which most of us are. And this is the real challenge for each of us to really take a step back. The Torah says Take a step back. Maybe you're being bribed by something, maybe you're not giving proper judgment, maybe it's not justice, maybe it's injustice. You're showing favorability, you have some prejudice, you have some got to be very, very careful, in your own lives, of course, in your community, of course in your culture, in whatever countries you're in. Yes, you need to have just judges. You have to have just district attorneys and prosecutors. Yes, but you also need to have within yourselves, within yourselves, each one of us. We have to have a way of looking at ourselves that we can.

20:18
I remember when I was in the early, early, early stages of rabbinic training. One of the things that they did was they did public speaking training, and the truth is you only needed one class why? Because what they would do is they would video you giving a short, five-minute idea on anything, any topic, something inspirational, something meaningful, and you would stand there in front of two, three guys who are part of your group and the trainer, and they would video it and then they would play it on the screen and you'd be like oy vey, this is terrible right. And you just had to look at yourself one time and on that screen and you see like, oh, my goodness, this is awful right. And what was missing? It was missing eye contact. It was missing. It was missing emotion. It was like robotic. It was missing energy. It was missing inspiration. It was just like, uh, just sharing over a thought, okay, like it should be alive. And that was it that was needed, because once you look at yourself, you're like that's the way I look, that's me Right, that looks lifeless, that looks like it doesn't have anything. There's another interesting thing.

21:45
We talked earlier. Before we went live, we talked about parenting and it's an amazing thing how our children copy us. Our children copy us. We saw I was just going through files and files of old videos, trying to clear up all of the hard drives with all of this data, and I found the video from maybe 13, 14, 15 years ago and it's my daughter acting as if she's the mother of the house and getting ready to go for a wedding. I don't know, this was part of her skit. It's like a five to 10 minute video of her, you know, getting ready for the wedding and talking to the kids and telling them okay, it's bedtime already and you have the babysitters coming, and she was like doing this whole thing. And my wife, upon seeing this, she's like, uh-oh, is that what I look like? It's like, because that's what the kids learn. They see their parents and they and, by the way, it was very glamorous, but either way, but it was, it's. We're all products of our environment, our environment, and if we just shadow, we just reflect the image of ourselves.

23:06
One time I'll tell you an amazing story. The friend of mine who is a cocaine addict and I talked to him. He's already clean for 30 years no more alcohol, no more, no more any, any. He's unbelievable, it's an amazing accomplishment. I asked him how did you stop? You want to hear the shocking answer. He said by mistake, one time I looked in the mirror. That's his answer. That's how he stopped. By mistake, one time he looked in the mirror and that changed his answer. That's how he stopped. By mistake, one time he looked in the mirror and that changed his life. He looked in the mirror and said what the heck is wrong with you? What did you do to yourself? Look at yourself. One time he looked in the mirror.

23:55
What would happen if we really looked in the mirror and we really looked, not to put on makeup, to just look at ourselves and to examine. Be the judge, be the officer. Is this what you want of yourself? Is this who you want to be? Is this what you want to become? And today is the day we begin that change. Today is the day we begin that change. Today is the day we begin that transformation. It's the most amazing thing to just look at ourselves. What do I expect for myself? And the minute we're able to look at ourselves and examine who's in that mirror, we'll see a totally different picture.

24:41
The next time, hashem should bless us all that we should merit to be worthy judges and officers for our own selves, but to call in to not be afraid of asking others for assistance, to not be afraid to ask someone. You know what? If there was one thing that you say I need improvement in, what would it be? Open yourself, be vulnerable for a minute, because the gift that someone who cares about you will share with you is worth its weight in gold. You might be insulted. Well, don't be defensive. Don't be defensive, just take it. Let them say it. If there was one thing that you say I can improve in, what would it be? And you get free advice from someone who loves you, someone who cares about you, it'll change your life Because you get to see a perspective of yourself.

25:42
You get to see a glimpse that otherwise we don't see, because it's in the other 210 degrees that I don't see. It's in my not even my peripheral vision. I just don't see it. It's out of my view, but other people could see it. It's out of my view, but other people could see it. And don't be defensive. Don't say, well, let me explain. No, no need to explain, I appreciate it. Thank you for giving the perspective. And now look inside, because the minute we're able to acknowledge our shortcomings, we're able to address them, we're able to heal them, but if we ignore them and make believe they don't exist, we'll never fix them. Hashem should bless us all to have amazing success in this arena and have a beautiful Shabbos!

26:37 - Intro (Announcement)
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