Parsha Review Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

Good Friday morning, everybody. It is so wonderful to be here. And this week's Parsha is Parsha's Shlach. So the Parsha begins, as we know, Parsha's Shlach deals with the sending of the spies to the Land of Israel. They're sending spies, not Mossad agents. These were the leaders of the tribes. These were the leaders of each of the tribes. They were righteous people. They were the holiest people and the Parsha begins, it says,
One man each from the tribe of his father, Tishlachu, you shall you send, called Nisi Bohem, everyone a leader among them. We look at Rashi. We immediately always look at Rashi. What does Rashi say? Rashi says, Why is the portion of the spies juxtaposed with last week's Torah portion where we spoke about the portion of Miriam? What happened with Miriam? Miriam was put in exile, in quarantine for seven days. The whole nation waited for her. It was more than seven days, but seven days for what?
For speaking Lashon Hara. And what does he say here? L'fi shlok sal iske diba, she diba be'achel. She spoke about her brother Moshe slanderously and she was punished. V'rishayim halalu, and these evil spies that were sent into the land, he's called them Rishayim, wicked people. Lo lachul, ra'u v'lo lachul Mosar. They saw and they didn't take a lesson from it. Ra'u v'lo lachul Mosar. They saw what happened to Miriam and they didn't take a lesson from it.
So this is why they're punished and that's why it's brought here as a juxtaposition. So my dear friends, we have to ask, what really is going on over here? Why were they punished? Why were they punished? They were punished because they're wicked people who did wicked things. Okay. We see that they were punished. God tells the Jewish people here in our Torah portion that the Jewish people are now gonna be
40 years in total in the desert as a punishment for the 40 days that they went into the land of Israel. They spied for 40 days. They came out. They gave their bad report. And by the way, if you look a little bit further, chapter 14, verse number 1, V'tisa kol ha'edo, v'yitnu es kolam. And the entire assembly raised their voice, v'yivku ha'am, and they wept balaylahu on that night. What do our sages tell us? Our sages tell us
they heard the bad report from the spies. The spies go into the land of Israel. They see giants. They see like massive things. They're like v'yitnu beinenu kechagavim. We were like grasshoppers, teeny little creatures. Our sages explain that Hashem said, You cried in vain. You don't do anything in vain. You're crying in vain? I'm gonna give you something to cry about. And that's forever. The day, it was the day of Tisha B'Av that day, the 9th of Av, and
the 9th of Av, as we know, is a day of forever tragedies before the Jewish people on that day. Both temples were destroyed on that day. Many of the pogroms, many of the terrible tragedies that befell the Jewish people began on that day as well. We're dealing with a legacy of negativity on that day. So what we need to really look at here is what were they supposed to do? What were they supposed to do differently?
If they would have learned from Miriam, if they would have taken a lesson, what would they have learned? What would have changed? So I want to bring a Talmud. The Talmud says something very interesting. The Talmud says a disagreement between two opinions of how one should praise a bride. Two different opinions. You come to a wedding. What are you supposed to tell the groom about the bride? So one opinion says,
you say that she's beautiful, you say that she's pleasant, she's terrific, you got yourself a steal of a deal. The other opinion says, no, you say it exactly the way it is. What? The Talmud brings this down. What do you mean? You're supposed to say that? You're supposed to say the truth? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Right? You only want someone to see the positive. And over here, that kind of wedding would have been a pretty brutal wedding.
Oh, let me tell you a thing about your bride. All right, let me tell you. Kala Kamai Shehi, it says. So our sages talk about this and they ask, how is it possible that this opinion should be that you should focus on the truth? So our sages explain that both opinions are the same. Say the beautiful, say how great she is, say how pleasant she is, is teaching you that that is the truth of what's there anyway.
That means that if you come with a positive perspective, that's it, you will see. Kala Kamai Shehi, say it exactly the way it is. You don't have to fake, you don't have to lie, you don't have to say something that isn't. Because if you come with positivity, it'll be positive. You're gonna see positive. But if you come with negativity, all you're going to see is negativity. And that's why our sages tell us, don't make up stuff. Don't say she's beautiful when she's not beautiful.
She really is beautiful. And if you can't see that beauty, the problem is in you, not in her. We need to change our eyes. We need to change the way we see things. We say it's all in the eyes of the beholder. It's all in the eyes of the beholder. We are the ones who hold those keys. You know what the problem with those spies were? The problem with the spies was that they had predisposed distaste for the land of Israel.
So whatever they would have seen, it would have been negative. That's why they were called Rishayim. Rashi says they're called wicked people, evil people, because they didn't fix their perspective. If you come in with negative, you walk out with negative. If you're not willing to change your perspective, then all you'll see is negative. It's interesting. I recently met a couple. And they came to me, like I've said many, many times, I'm not a therapist. I'm a rabbi.
But I love you and I'll try to do whatever I can to help guide you in the right direction. And they came and it was a cycle of vicious statements that they were lodging at one another. A cycle of vicious statements. And they're sitting there for an hour and a half they were with me. And it was just one, after one was saying something, the next one said something. But it was all negativity. And it reminded me of a Mishnah.
A Mishnah. The Mishnah tells us something very, very amazing. It says that mitzvah goreres mitzvah, avere goreres avere. A mitzvah, a good deed, leads to another good deed, that leads to another good deed, that leads to another good deed. But a sin leads to another sin, that leads to another sin, that leads to another sin. So I said to them, what I'm seeing here is that we need a hero to break the cycle. We need a hero between the two of you
who's going to break this viciousness, this vicious cycle of one negative thing going to the next negative thing, going to the next negative thing. Someone has to start saying something positive. Because the minute you start saying positive, now it comes with a rebound of a positive. It comes with another rebound of a positive. It comes, one positive will lead to another positive. When you start saying positive things, positive things come back to you. So where does it begin? Who's going to be the hero?
Because if you're in this vicious cycle of one sin leads to another sin, so when are you going to ever get a chance to do a mitzvah? Right now. You make a decision to do something positive, and that breaks the cycle. So now you're in the loop of positivity. We have the ability to change our environment. We have the ability to change our relationships. We have the ability to change the way we see things. And this is what the Torah is teaching us.
Why the Torah is telling us such a negative story. It's a really bad story. I mean, it's a blemish on all of us. This is a representation of all of us. Because these are our representatives. These are our representatives. They went to represent us. They went to represent us. These are our leaders of our tribes. So it's reflective of us. Where we need to change. You know, we're in a very heated political atmosphere, culture, society of our generation.
We have very polarized views, and people believe all blue, all red. I'm either a complete Democrat, sworn, dyed in the wool, or a Republican, gun-toting Republican. Which one? Everyone is, we're so, so firm. But can we maybe open up ourselves to see a different perspective? Just for exercise. Only for exercise. Can we maybe change our perspective on something? It doesn't mean that we have to agree. It doesn't mean that we have to accept it.
We're not going to be baptized into that other culture just by listening, by having debate, by opening conversation. Because what we're trying to, what I'm trying to get to here is for us to understand that our differences will always stay differences if we're not willing to open ourselves up for conversation. We will stay firm with our anger. We will stay firm with our negative traits. Because we're not ready to listen to critique from another person. Because this is the way we do it.
This is the way I parent. This is the way I am as a spouse. This is the way I am. This is the way I am. Take me or leave me. Really? We don't change ever? We don't have to modify, adjust? Just slightly? How are we going to do that if we're in this vicious cycle within ourselves where we're not ready to take another perspective? Where we're not ready to listen? You know what? I don't like what they're saying so much,
but let me hear it through. Let me come in with a fresh pair of eyes. Maybe I was wrong all along. Maybe my parents' perspective is not the correct way. Maybe I need to change and adjust. I had a dad in one of the parenting classes. He says to me, Rabbi, I don't agree with anything you say. I don't agree with any of it. He says, look, my dad beat me. And look, I'm pretty decent.
He says, why can't I just do the same for my own kid? Like, what are you telling me? Love your child. He didn't love me or he didn't love me. He just beat me. I said, it's true. He may have done that. And you can do that to your child as well. But the culture around us is very different. The culture is not the same as when you grew up. When you grew up, perhaps it was a little bit different.
You couldn't just walk out onto the streets and get a comfortable acceptance. You had to be part of something. They say, it used to be a hundred years ago, there was no such thing as an atheist, as an agnostic. You had one in a million. And they would hide it. You had to be part of the church. You had to be part of a synagogue. You had to be part of a... Excuse me. You had to be part of a... of a mosque.
You had to be part of something. Today, it's in vogue to be atheist. You were a loser back then if you weren't part of a religion. Nobody would just like, oh, I'm just, I'm not unaffiliated. I'm just, you know, I have ancestors who may have been something. But me, I'm just freelancing. I don't believe in God, whatever it may be. I remember, there was a rabbi once, he was talking about, people say, oh, you know, what's your faith?
I'm an atheist. Oh, you're an atheist. Tell me more. We think like he thought it through. You think he went through and has verified proof that there's no God? You think he thought about that? Or it's more convenient for him not to have any faith? Is it more convenient for him? Because like this, I have no conscience. I don't have to answer to anyone. So I'll tell you something that bothers me about this whole portion about, of the spies.
What bothers me is that the Jewish people, we see the same theme of all of our travels in the desert, that we're plagued with the same challenge. Either we feel a dependency on what we have, otherwise we can't fathom something that's not in our hands. Meaning, God says, I'm going to feed you. What do you mean? How are you going to feed us? There's nothing here. We're in the desert. There's nothing. God brings us the manna.
But what happens when you live with a miracle? It becomes habit and it's no longer special. Do you remember that first time that you received a text message? You're like, this is so cool. It's unbelievable. Wow. One second, you just sent it? I just got it. We're a thousand miles away. I can't believe it. It's amazing. How does it travel so fast? And we're wondering. And we're in awe of the cell phone. We're in awe of having
a browser on our phone. You can do that on your phone? You remember the first time? It's like we're in awe. Today, it doesn't work fast enough. We lose. We have a miracle in our hands, in our pockets, and yet we lose the acknowledgement. We lose the awe for it. The Jewish people are receiving the manna and eventually it becomes habit. They lose appreciation for the miracle. God splits the sea. And what do the Jewish people say
as a thank you? What, there's not enough graves in Egypt? You have to bring us out to die in the desert? What's wrong with these people? And now, God says, I'm going to give you the promised land. I'm going to give you the land that I promised to Abraham, to Isaac, to Jacob, to all of you. I'm going to give you the land? Like, well, we're not exactly sure we want to go there. We're not exactly sure we're happy
with that destination. What is wrong with these people? And I think, I think our sages tell us that Moshe was punished not to go into the land of Israel in the beginning of the book of Deuteronomy. Why was he punished, it says? Because you sent in the spies. Not because you hit the rock. We know because the Torah says that. But later it says because of the spies. Because you let them in. I think Moshe didn't do a good enough job
to get the Jewish people to live in a life of spirituality where they're able to have reliance on Hashem. And therefore, they need everything verified. Everything needs to be in front of my eyes. I need to see the money in the bank for me to trust it. A promise from Hashem is not enough. It's a weakness of ours that we are not able to have that reliance on Hashem appropriately. The negativity breeds negativity. When you live in an environment
which is completely negative. Moshe Rabbeinu, last week's Torah portion, what does Moshe say? He says, I can't deal with the complainers. I can't deal with the complainers, which by the way, just know that we get this from Moshe. Anybody who's ever president of a synagogue, president of anything, you get complaints all the time. It's too hot. It's too cold. It's too cooked. It's not cooked enough. Whatever it is, there's always a complaint. Always. That comes with the territory of leadership.
And Hashem says that to Moshe. He says, as a leader, you're going to have complainers. Always you're going to have complainers. That's the territory. So what do we see here? Why were they considered evil people? Because they didn't learn from Miriam. Miriam looked with negative eyes at Moshe. So all she saw was negativity. They didn't learn from Miriam to correct their perspective. Adjust your perspective. See positive. Think positive. And it'll be positive. If you come with a positive attitude,
it'll be positive. It'll be a positive experience. You come with a negative attitude, it's guaranteed to be miserable. It all goes in the eyes of the beholder. The Lashon Hara, speaking slanderously, comes because we see negativity. We look with negative eyes, so we see negativity. And when we do that, everything self-destructs from Lashon Hara. When we speak Lashon Hara, when we speak negatively about our fellow man, everything becomes negative around us. We see negativity in the school.
We see negativity in the shul. We see negativity in the workout club. We see negative everywhere. Everything is negative. They call it food critics, right? Movie critics. They critique. I think it's a terrible job. Your job is to critique and only see the negative? What would be the reverse of that? I want to point out the positive things of the food. I want to look at the positive things of the movie. Just as a side note,
a friend of mine calls me up yesterday, and he says to me, you know, Sunday there's this big hockey game apparently. Hockey is still a sport, I think, someplace. Either way, he says, there's a big hockey game in Vegas. He says, me and my friend, we're flying up from New York. We're flying to Vegas. We're watching, we're going to be at the game. We're getting back on a plane, flying back to New York. He says, you want to meet us there?
He says, I'll get you a ticket. And so I said, I would love to do it, but I made a vow. I made a vow to never go to Vegas. Those of you in the class before, it's not your first time hearing this. He said, what? I said, yeah, I made a vow to never go to Vegas. He says, can you explain, elaborate on this? I said, any place that calls themselves Sin City, I don't want to be in.
I don't want to be in such a place. I said, wow, I never thought of that. I said, I don't want to be in a place that's called Sin City because I don't want to be in a place that can have a negative influence. It can be negatively exposed. But that can happen anywhere. Yeah, but not in a place called Sin City. It's like saying, I'm going to stone. Right? A stone was a Sodom and Gomorrah, right?
It was a place that was declared for evil. That's what it was for. You want to be evil? Ooh, this is the place to go. Right? This is where you got to go. Who goes on a vacation to Sodom? Right? The only reason Lot went because he thought he can change them. He thought that he can persuade them to change their ways. So he went to go be the rabbi there. Didn't work out well. My dear friends,
we need to adjust and ensure that A, we're in a positive environment, but to try to adjust our perspectives. If you don't have glasses, everything you see is going to be dirty. Clean the glasses. Dip them into a little of a rosy color and you'll see a whole rosy world. Everything will change. My dear friends, have a magnificent Shabbos. Thank you.

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