Parsha Review Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:03 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

00:12 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back. Good morning everybody. Welcome to the parsha review podcast. It is so wonderful to be here this magnificent tuesday morning. Here in Houston, Texas, we have a loaded parasha, as we do every week. This is the fourth parasha in the book of Genesis.

00:30
Parshas Vayera Vayera is talking a lot about what Abraham saw, what his experience was in his discovery of Hashem. He's already revealed Hashem to the world. He already has many disciples, many students. He is a revolutionary in that there is a monotheistic God, there is a creator of heaven and earth and we owe everything to him. Part of what he did was is that he opened up his tent on all four sides. He was the first soup kitchen and anybody who needed, anybody who wanted, he gave over his home to people he just welcomed people in, which teaches us a great deal about the mitzvah of Ahasuerus, welcoming guests into our home, and not only welcoming them but doing it graciously, not begrudgingly.

01:30
And you know, there's a story told about the Chavetz Chaim. The Chavetz Chaim was once someone who was stuck in, I guess, in Raden, and the Chavetz Chaim didn't really have a big house but he had a bed that he was able to host a guest in. So the Chavetz Chaim quickly ran to set the bed and the guest says please, the Chavetz Chaim was in his 90s. He says, please, please, I can make my own bed. I can set the linen on the bed. Chavetz Chaim says you want to steal a mitzvah from me? I have an opportunity to do a mitzvah to welcome a guest, like Abraham did, and you want to steal that opportunity? He says but that's the way our holy, righteous patriarchs and matriarchs, that's the way they saw a mitzvah as a great opportunity to emulate God and his kindness in this world.

02:15
So the verse that we are going to talk about today says an amazing thing. This is right in the beginning of this week's parashah, the second verse. In this week's parashah, the first verse says While he was sitting at the entrance of the tent, in the heat of the day. Why was he sitting in the tent? Why was he relaxing there? Because, if you remembered the end of last week's Torah portion of Parshas, lech Lecha, what did Abraham do? He circumcised himself. How old was he? 99 years old. 99 years old, he formed a treaty with the Almighty, where the Almighty says this treaty is going to be an everlasting treaty between me and my people, the Jewish people, Every male, on the 8th day shall be circumcised Specifically on their flesh. Why? This is an eternal bond between us and the Almighty.

03:15
And now, the third day is the most painful day and therefore Abraham needed to relax. Now why does it say kechom ayom in the heat of the day? Our sages tell us because God had mercy on Abraham. God did not want Abraham to go, be busy looking for guests to bring into his home. God wanted it to be so hot that nobody will be traveling at this time, so that they don't bother Abraham, so that they don't cause Abraham to exercise his delicious activity of hachnas ha-sarachim, that he should not go. And because he had such a great desire to do a mitzvah, every mitzvah, to be God-like, he wanted, god wanted him to not have to get up. So God made it extremely hot so that the people still go outside, like you know what it's too hot, I'm not traveling today, I'm not going to go today. And that way Abraham doesn't have any clients and he has nobody that he can help. But suddenly he lifted his eyes and he saw. And he saw that there were three men standing over him. He perceived, he noticed them and he ran towards them from the entrance of the tent and bowed to the ground. So there were three people.

04:41
Rashi immediately tells us what were the three people. They were angels guised as men. What were they there? They were there for a mission. Each one, our sages tell us, each angel can only do one mission at a time. Okay, they have one task. One was to tell Sarah that she's going to have a baby Echad levaser, esara, ve'echad lafer, chasdom. And one is to turn over Sodom. Sodom and Gomorrah, ve'echad lerapos, esafram. And another one, another angel, the third angel, is there to heal Abraham. All right, what's going on over here? Abraham lifts up his eyes. What's this lifting up of the eyes that Abraham is doing? What do you mean? He lifted up his eyes, sages tell us, in order to really do the act of kindness, in order to really be someone who loves doing a godly act of loving kindness, you have to be humble.

05:49
You need humility. You must have humility to recognize the need of another person, because someone who's all the way up there doesn't realize the needs of the ordinary person. Realize the needs of the ordinary person. Someone who feels so high and mighty about themselves isn't able to get down to the level of normal human beings, to understand their plight, to understand their needs and to deliver for them.

06:18
The Ramban in the letter of the Ramban that he writes, the magnificent letter of the Ramban, where he writes to his son, he writes the following thing and now I'm going to tell you how you should accustom yourself and with what behaviors, excuse me, you should act. He says accustom yourself to the quality of humility to walk with it. Always, always, be humble. Let your words be spoken softly and gently, let your head be bowed, cast your eyes downward and your heart heavenward. And when speaking, do not steer at your listener, meaning don't look down at them. Let all men seem greater than you in your eyes. All men listen to this.

07:07
If another person is more wise or wealthy than you, you must show them respect. They're smarter than you, they're more financially capable, they're more wealthy than you. You have to have respect for them. And if he is poor, the other person I'm looking at someone and they're poorer than me and you are richer or wiser than them consider that he may be more righteous than yourself. If he sins, it's a result of an error, while a transgression that you do is deliberate because you know better, while a transgression that you do is deliberate because you know better. You understand. What the Ramban is teaching here to his son in this magnificent letter is that a person always needs to see himself. No, that doesn't mean we have to knock ourselves down. Oh, I'm a nobody. I'm a nobody, I'm a nobody. That's not what we're talking about.

08:01
You're great, but when you see other people, you have to see their greatness. You have to look at the people around you and say, wow, look what they accomplished. You know, if you see someone, oh, they're wealthier than me. You know what? Clearly they're more deserving of it. Hashem must think of them highly. Hashem must think of them highly. Hashem must think of them that they can distribute God's wealth for him more diligently than I can, someone who's wiser. Hashem sees more potential in them, perhaps, and they can accomplish greater things. Not to look down on yourself. You have to think of yourself great. You have to think of yourself as someone who is gifted by the Almighty. But you know what else you have to do. You have to make sure that you look at others and see their greatness. You have to be able to see their greatness. So how do we get to this? So we know that we're obligated to learn Torah. We're obligated to do mitzvot, to give tzedakah, to give charity, to do acts of loving, kindness.

09:18
Our sages tell us that a person I'm going to read you from the Chida the great, the holy Chida he says as follows Shebizbanenu ein onu tsrichon lavod ala shiflos. He says today we don't really need to work on humility. We're so low already, we don't need help. Okay, we are a lowly generation. Ve'alkein tsoruchu lavod al atzmo'lo. Yovoli de'gavos ve'isnasos. A person just has to be worried that he doesn't become arrogant. Okay, ach lo kein b'zmanenu she'ikr ha'avod etzrichol liyos al'nekudas ha'emes. He said today, in our generation, the most important quality, the most important quality that we need to invest in, is the quality of truth, of truth.

10:22
Who, in honesty, thinks that they've attained perfection? You think you're so perfect. You're perfect in the way you're acting. You're perfect in the way you're speaking. You're perfect in the way that you give a donation, give charity. Are you perfect in that? Elamai Odom loquib imidas hasheka. But what's the matter? We fool ourselves.

10:56
Umeram es olam v'games atzmo. He tries to trick others that he does everything with benevolence, with perfection, but really he's tricking the world and he's tricking himself. If a person will perfect the trait of truth and he'll know that he has traits that are gifts from the Almighty, positive traits in which he possesses greatness. This is the words of the Chida. The Chida says that a person who invests in the trait of truth will be honest.

11:49
So you know what I didn't really accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish. I'm not so perfect like I present myself to the world. We like to present ourselves as being perfect. We like talking and we like backing up everything that we say with a story of how we did something and how you can talk to people, and they like to share their success and all of the great things they've done. What's about their failures that we hide? Nobody needs to see that, nobody needs to know that. We're not talking about humiliating ourselves in front of others. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about having truth, investing in truth, so that we for ourselves at least me, for myself I can know it's not so true, I'm not so perfect, I'm not so. I'm not so dedicated like I say I am or like I show the world that I am. So the idea behind all of this is that when a person is a person of truth, then they know the real score. There's no place for them to be arrogant, and it's a little humbling because I've fallen short.

12:58
Our sages teach us that you know, when a person passes on from this world, everything that is repeated at one's funeral in their eulogy is recorded up in the heavens and they play it on a loudspeaker and they say uh-huh, is it so? They're saying that you did this and this, and you did this and that, and you were so committed and so dedicated and so volunteering. Did you really do that? Was it truthful? Or you just led people on? You just made a show as if, but you really didn't mean it, and were held accountable, which is why many great sages after their passing left in their will please do not eulogize me, because I know that you're going to say things to try to say how great I was, but I'm going to be held accountable and I'm not worthy of it and therefore I'm asking do not eulogize me.

14:01
My grandfather made that request as well. In his will he wrote do not eulogize me. It turns out that he knew or at least in heaven they knew that nobody would listen. They'd say he can't. It would be a lack of honor to someone who's so righteous and so holy for us not to eulogize him. So God made it that he passed away on the holiday of Pesach and since his funeral was on the intermediary days of Pesach, you don't eulogize on the holiday in the whole month of Nisan, but definitely not on the holiday you don't eulogize. So he merited to that. Now, after Pesach, every institution had speeches and speeches dedicated to his memory. But that's too late. Already. Judgment was already right.

14:53
But the idea here of a person. I'll tell you something Truth isn't something. That truth is something that we all know, every single person. It's an amazing thing if you've ever watched how they interview people when they do the truth test. What is that thing, the polygraph? It's an amazing thing that the human body has a difficult time lying.

15:23
Saying something that's not true doesn't jive with our, with our biology, with our psyche. It doesn't work with us. The truth is that we don't want to counter the truth, we just want to hide it. We't want to counter the truth, we just want to hide it. We just want to hide the truth. We want to circumvent the conversation, going to a place where it would make us declare the truth. So we circumvent the conversation we redirect. But the truth is, the honest truth is is that the closer one gets to the Torah, the closer they get to truth, to emes. What is the Torah called Torat emet? It's the Torah of truth, because the Torah doesn't. You'll never see an instance like this. So you hear this, howard.

16:26
Imagine we have a disagreement in Talmud. You look at the Tanakh sages and they have disagreements. One says that the tallest sukkah can be is 20 amot, 20 cubits, and one says it could be 10 amot. So let's just compromise. Let's just compromise and let's do 15. You don't find compromise ever in the Talmud. You don't find compromise because compromise for sure is not true, never right. So imagine this, mark. I say to you I say Mark, because compromise for sure is not true, never right. So imagine this, mark. I say to you I say Mark, you owe me 10 bucks and you say I paid it back. I'm like no, you didn't pay it back, right?

17:12
So we go back and forth. We say, okay, you know, we have three people sitting here. Let's ask them what to do. What are they going to say at the end? You're going to say you know what Compromise? Give them five bucks and that's it. Call it a day. Is five bucks real? No, five bucks for sure is not true. Why? Because it's either 10 or it's nothing.

17:31
So where does the compromise come in? But we compromise to make peace because we don't know. And in most courts, most Jewish courts you'll go to today, they'll find a way to compromise, not because it's the right answer, but because we don't know the right answer. So it's either one way, 10, or the other way, zero. So we compromise, we do a five. Five is certainly not true. You understand, when we're talking about truth, it's absolute truth. We never see a compromise.

18:02
There's only one time in halacha, that we see a compromise. You know what that is. With the laws of mezuzah, you know there's one opinion that the mezuzah should be completely vertical and the other opinion is that it should be completely horizontal. How do we put our mezuzahs on our door? We put it on a slant. Our sages tell us to remind you every time you walk into your home If you want success in your home, you need compromise. That's the only time we find compromise in halacha. It's either straight, vertical or horizontal. We don't do slanted. We do slanted to remind you the key to success in your home is compromise.

18:49
Yeah, you're going to have to compromise. People go crazy, but it's not the truth. You know what? You're going to have to let go of it, sometimes for the sake of peace, sometimes for the sake of peace. You're going to have to let go of it, sometimes for the sake of peace, sometimes for the sake of peace, you're gonna have to let go of the truth. But when it comes to our character within ourselves, we can't compromise on truth, because if you're trying to work on a trait and you're not being truthful, you will never fix the trait.

19:18
You know, the most difficult part of working on one's traits is coming to terms with your flaws, also coming to terms with your positive traits, your positive traits, your qualities. Many people are very uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable Me, I don't know. People get very. You know they're not willing to take it. But our sages teach us that the moment you're willing to accept your flaw, you've already repaired more than half of it. Okay so if and I'll give you an example If someone is and we have a workshop flaw, you've already repaired more than half of it. Okay so if and I'll give you an example If someone is and we have a workshop, that we've done in our Mussar Mondays, which is the Jewish Inspiration podcast, that we evaluate our traits.

20:14
Now, let's assume that someone needs to work on their trait they love food, so they need to learn now to limit their indulgence in food. Okay, it's a trait he likes food, he likes to talk, he likes women, whatever it may be. So if a person doesn't coin it for himself, then what happens? He'll never fix it Because he's not coming to terms with the reality that this is a flaw that I have. If a person is arrogant and they don't identify their arrogance and it will require the trait of truth they will never repair the arrogance because they're in denial that they even possess this trait.

21:10
So, in order to perfect any trait, a person must have truth. Truth is the essence, which is why the name of Hashem is truth. Hashem Elokichem Emet, the essence of God is truth. Truth is the essence which is why the name of Hashem is truth. Hashem Elokichem Emet, the essence of God is truth. You know, it's really an amazing thing that the Talmud talks about what happens after we pass on from this world.

21:34
We're asked a few questions Nassata, ve'natata be'amuno, did you do business? Honestly, you can't say well, I did industry standard. Okay, I followed what the protocols were. Did you or did you not act honestly in business? It's a yes or no, it's either or. Well, let me explain. It's either yes or it's no, and a person needs to. We need to prepare ourselves for that ultimate judgment.

22:08
When we talk about Abraham, who was the pillar of kindness, he couldn't get to that kindness if he was arrogant. He couldn't get to humility without truth. When a person is truthful and he realizes and recognizes that everything I have is from God, my good looks is from God. You hear this, mark? Your good looks is from God. The ability to speak is a gift from God. The ability to persuade people is a gift from God. The ability to persuade people is a gift from God. The ability to be a leader is a gift from God. So I'm going to be arrogant. A person's going to be arrogant for something that they did nothing for it. They got it as a gift. You know it's an amazing thing. Did nothing for it, they got it as a gift. You know it's an amazing thing.

23:02
There was a news, a breaking news, a few years ago, of a senator, a congressman. A congressman was live on television. Live on television while he was talking a coherent statement. He had a stroke live on television and to me it was such an awakening moment how Hashem gives us the ability to speak and then doesn't we think? I have the ability to speak and I'm an orator and I'm a powerful influencer. I'm able to persuade people, whether it's to vote for me, or whether it's to go for me, or whether it's to go vote for a certain party, a certain agenda, whatever it may be. We feel like we have the power of influence and suddenly Hashem turns power off. Boom, and it's gone. So we have to realize where does that power come from?

24:08
To begin with, it comes as a gift from Hashem. Everything we have is a gift from the Almighty. Every single gift we possess is a gift from the Almighty. You're successful in business. Be honest, it's a gift from Hashem. It's not because you're so smart. It's not because you're so smart. It's not because you're so brilliant. There are people who are much smarter than you and didn't have that success. So how do you have that success? Because the Almighty gave it to you, because the Almighty blessed you with it. I'm going to be arrogant now over someone else. I realize I'm going to be arrogant now over someone else. I realize I'm holding by a thread. The Almighty gave me, whatever success I have as a gift, this is our, this is our, our lesson.

25:07
We say in front of the Almighty, we say when you bring us back. We say in front of the Almighty, we say, when you bring us back to you, don't bring us back empty-handed. We shouldn't be empty-handed, meaning we should fulfill the perfection of our traits. We shouldn't go back the way we came. You perform a mitzvah. It shouldn't be just a mitzvah, it should be a mitzvah that uplifts your relationship with God. It should be a mitzvah that is influencing the entire world to become a better place. And what does it say after that? It says so, abraham.

25:47
What did he do? He took care of the guests. Then what happens? And then he goes. God tells him by the way, abraham, I'm about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. I'm ready to destroy the city of Sodom and Amorah Ki rabba v'chatosam ki kavda me'od, because it has become great. And their sin, because it has been grave exceedingly. Their sins have become so terrible. God says I need to get rid of them. So what does Abraham do? Someone who understands the truth, Someone who understands humility, he realizes. You know, hashem gave me the ability to persuade. Hashem gave me the ability to pray. Let's try it. So what does he do? Abraham says to God maybe maybe there's 50 righteous, maybe there's 45. Maybe there's 30, there's 20, there's 10. There wasn't 10, and God needs to take him. What happens then? Vayelech Hashem, kasher kilom.

27:06
Hashem departed when he finished to speak, speaking to Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place. It's an amazing phrase in our Torah, an amazing verse. And Abraham returned to his place. He didn't get worked up. Can't believe it. God didn't listen to me. I tried, I prayed. God doesn't hear me. No, god heard him. God heard every word he requested. You did your job. The answer was no, you did your job. You asked God on behalf of the city, which is another question. Why would you even bother with that? Why would you bother? They're wicked people. Just let them die, finished. Because someone who's humble sees greatness in every human being, sees potential in every human being. Abraham was a tremendously humble person, which is why he was able to give kindness to everyone. He was able to see the positive in everyone and Avraham shoved Limecomo. He returned to his place.

28:23
We think that I have to provide results. Who's going to provide results? Me, you're right. The buck stops here. That's what people say. It stops here. This is where success is coming from. I have to ensure that we provide success.

28:43
Abraham teaches us no, success is not in the results, success is in the effort. And now we get to the most important part. The most important part of a Jewish life is not results, it's effort. Our job is not to bring about results, our job is to bring about effort. You tried. That's your success. You worked hard and you found success.

29:23
Believe that you didn't work hard but you found success. Don't believe it. It's fleeting, it's not real. It's a facade. You didn't work hard but you found success. Don't believe it. It's fleeting. It's not real, it's a facade. You know something?

29:37
There's a Mishnah, one of my favorite Mishnahs in Ethics of Our Fathers. Listen to this beautiful Mishnah the end of the second chapter in Ethics of Our Fathers. The last Mishnah In ethics of our fathers. The last Mishnah it's not your job to complete the task, yet you are not free to withdraw your efforts from it. Meaning we think. We think that what's our job? The results. Give me the results. Your job is not to conclude the task, to win the game. Your job is to put your very best effort forward. You know my father.

30:26
As many of you know, I was not the most scholastic student out there, very far from it. It's really funny. I was really not a great student. Okay, there are reasons for it, we can talk about a different time. Not a great student, I'd come home with tests that were like abysmal failures I'm talking about. I'd come home with a 32. I'd come home with a 59. And my father was never upset with my score, ever. He was never upset. He only asked me one question Did you try your best, and with what means I had at that time? I tried my best. That was it. He said. If you tried your best, good for you. That's what we need to do. We need to try our best.

31:23
God doesn't expect us to complete the job with perfection. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. God expects us to try our best. That's our job. Do your best. Don't compare yourself to other people. Don't knock yourself down. Oh, look at them. Look, he got the job right away. He got the interview right away.

31:46
You hear this, mark we dedicated the class to your success. Our job is to never stop trying. Our job is to never, ever stop trying. The success is not in our hands. That's the hand of Hashem. My dear friends, hashem should bless us all, that we should merit to be like Abraham, isaac and Jacob, to learn from their stories and to influence our own lives every single day. To be like them.

32:18
What was their entire mission in life? Let's get as close as we can to God. Everyone had their own way, their own method, where in our prayer, we say Elokei Avraham, elokei Yitzchak, elokei Yaakov, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob. Why doesn't it just say the God of Abraham, isaac and Jacob? Because, each one individually. You don't get your relationship with God by download. You don't get your relationship by God, with God, by inheritance. It doesn't get transferred from person to person. There's no friends and family plan. You have to individually work and achieve it. That's your own mission. Abraham did it. You know what his son Isaac needed to do. He also needed to do it and he accomplished it as well. And you know what his son Jacob did. He had to accomplish it on his own. It was Each one of them, on their own right, on their own merit, on their own efforts, attained their level of closeness with Hashem, and that's what we aspire. We need to aspire every single day to accomplish our greatness. My dear friends, have an amazing Shabbos.

33:40 - Intro (Announcement)
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